Pain, Grace, Gain & Change - How to deal with Pain without Reliving the Experience. By Esther Simeon8/22/2013 ![]() You don’t have to be over 30, 40 or 50 to realize that life sometimes comes with some level of pain. Pain can be in form of painful memories, childhood trauma or events, neglect, rejection, abuse, disappointment, betrayal, loss and much more. Any of these can happen to a child, a teenager, an adult, man or woman, a boy or a girl. We live in an imperfect world, however when we experience any of these unpleasant events how do we prevent them from holding us captive, how do we prevent past traumas from assaulting our minds and emotions and from holding our lives captive? There is one common ground for all people nobody wants to experience pain, if given a choice people will run from painful experiences as far as possible. Although most people can live a relatively normal life without being constantly aware, reminded or feel any emotional pain, however an unpleasant event can trigger a downward spiral of what was otherwise the perfect picture on the outward, resulting in emotional outburst, pain, and cries especially for women. Pain can result in anger, regrets, sorrow, looking for someone or something to blame for the pain, some people could even go as far as planning a revenge to inflict pain on others, this is clearly not the right approach to dealing with pain. Pain If something happen, that triggers the memory of a very painful past experience, rather than dive right in to the memory of the past and relive the painful experience in your mind. Take a quick five seconds count to snap out of that emotional state of pain, quickly remind yourself, it could have been worse, you are alive today by the grace of God. This is not denying the existence of the pain, but this is allowing you to keep things in perspective, take control over your emotional state, and not to relive the pain nor give in to the emotions and memory of it. Grace Quickly move from Pain into Grace. Grace is unmerited favor, unmerited forgiveness, unmerited mercy, unmerited unconditional love. Moving into grace means that rather than feeling angry and resentful towards the person or thing you held responsible for your pain, you allow the grace of God to wash over you. Then you release grace, mercy and forgiveness to others. You can even say what Jesus said “Father forgive them for they know not what they were doing”. This gives you a sense of power and control over your emotions. Gain Moving from Pain to Grace to Gain. Analyze the Gain. Whenever we experience something painful, we become more sensitive in that area and we are quick to identify others who may be suffering what we have experienced in the past and overcome. Hence we gain more sensitivity, discernment, compassion, understanding, wisdom, caution and much more as a result of the painful experience. The stage of analyzing gain is very important to see something good about yourself as a result of the past painful experience. Whatever was meant for evil against you, God turned it around for your good; keep this in mind and rest assured. Change Changing our response to pain is very important. Rather than relive the past, we can identify the fact that we are not the same person who was subjected to that abuse, we have moved on, we are not the child that was molested, we are now a grown up adult able to make our own decision, we are not the same. When the feelings, emotions and memory tries to trap and tie you to the past, repeat the 4 steps, Pain, Grace, Gain & Change. Then make a few minutes to pray prayers of affirmations & requests. Prayer: I pray for the healing power of God to flow through me, heal my heart and mind, heal my memory, heal me in every single area, where there was emotional wounds. Jesus came to heal the broken hearted and to bind up their wounds. I pray for the balm of Gilead and the healing anointing of Jesus Christ to flow into every deep path of my heart, mind, memory, spirit, soul and body, on the conscious and subconscious layers. I release total forgiveness to the people who hurt me. Jesus you died for all past, present and future sins, so I release and forgive all the past present and future sins of the people or person that hurt me. I will no longer be held captive or prisoner to past events. I pray and make this request through the name of Jesus Christ. Amen Affirmations: I am not my past, I refuse to live in the past, I am free from every pain of the past, I am released from every pain of the past, I forgive and release the offenders, I release myself from every hurt, wounds, and anger; I disengage with habitual negative memory recall, I will not live in the past, I have a great life now, I focus on my life as it is now and the future. Jesus experienced pain on every level imaginable. He had the sins and the penalty of the sin of the whole world placed on his shoulder, not only for the sins committed up to the point of his death and resurrections, but all past, present and future sins were carried by Him to the cross. If he only died for all sins up to the time of his death and resurrection, you and I will not have any hope of forgiveness, but because His sacrifice extend beyond the past present future and eternity, you and I and the people yet to be born, have hope of a savior, healer, forgiver, and a restorer. Key Points Pain = Acknowledge the Pain without reliving the experience Grace= Receive Grace and Release Grace Gain= You are a better Person, Wiser, Smarter, More sensitive, Discerning and much more Change= Choose your response to pain sensation. Change from victim to a victor Conclusion Pain has to be dealt with on several levels: Spiritual level, Psychological level, Emotional level, and Physiological level. This article is an introduction to subject of dealing with Pain, I plan to release other articles, journals, book and training manuals that will address this topic in more depth. How to handle a serial offender, bully or abuser Sometimes we find it difficult to forgive a repeat offender, because even though you forgive this person, they somehow keep repeating the actions knowingly or unknowingly that hurts you. So this is like a vicious cycle. In such instances it’s important to develop a ‘thick skin’ carefree, water off the duck back approach, and totally minimize the words or actions of the offender. Hence you gain the power back, by refusing to be a victim and begin to develop the mentality of a victor, who is smarter, wiser and more powerful than the bully. Another approach is direct communication, without shouting or emotional outbursts, you state clearly and objectively what the repeated abuser is doing that hurt you, how their action made you feel, and request that they change their action. Direct communication should only be attempted in cases where you do not feel physically threatened or in danger. If this approach fail to work, choose to forgive them personally, and make attempt to remove yourself from the abusive situation. Since every situation is completely different, one method may not work in all situations. However if you feel you are continuously been subject to abuse, you should seek personal professional counsel to deal with the situation.
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Esther Simeon
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