Pain, Grace, Gain & Change - How to deal with Pain without Reliving the Experience. By Esther Simeon8/22/2013 You don’t have to be over 30, 40 or 50 to realize that life sometimes comes with some level of pain. Pain can be in form of painful memories, childhood trauma or events, neglect, rejection, abuse, disappointment, betrayal, loss and much more. Any of these can happen to a child, a teenager, an adult, man or woman, a boy or a girl. We live in an imperfect world, however when we experience any of these unpleasant events how do we prevent them from holding us captive, how do we prevent past traumas from assaulting our minds and emotions and from holding our lives captive? There is one common ground for all people nobody wants to experience pain, if given a choice people will run from painful experiences as far as possible. Although most people can live a relatively normal life without being constantly aware, reminded or feel any emotional pain, however an unpleasant event can trigger a downward spiral of what was otherwise the perfect picture on the outward, resulting in emotional outburst, pain, and cries especially for women. Pain can result in anger, regrets, sorrow, looking for someone or something to blame for the pain, some people could even go as far as planning a revenge to inflict pain on others, this is clearly not the right approach to dealing with pain. Pain If something happen, that triggers the memory of a very painful past experience, rather than dive right in to the memory of the past and relive the painful experience in your mind. Take a quick five seconds count to snap out of that emotional state of pain, quickly remind yourself, it could have been worse, you are alive today by the grace of God. This is not denying the existence of the pain, but this is allowing you to keep things in perspective, take control over your emotional state, and not to relive the pain nor give in to the emotions and memory of it. Grace Quickly move from Pain into Grace. Grace is unmerited favor, unmerited forgiveness, unmerited mercy, unmerited unconditional love. Moving into grace means that rather than feeling angry and resentful towards the person or thing you held responsible for your pain, you allow the grace of God to wash over you. Then you release grace, mercy and forgiveness to others. You can even say what Jesus said “Father forgive them for they know not what they were doing”. This gives you a sense of power and control over your emotions. Gain Moving from Pain to Grace to Gain. Analyze the Gain. Whenever we experience something painful, we become more sensitive in that area and we are quick to identify others who may be suffering what we have experienced in the past and overcome. Hence we gain more sensitivity, discernment, compassion, understanding, wisdom, caution and much more as a result of the painful experience. The stage of analyzing gain is very important to see something good about yourself as a result of the past painful experience. Whatever was meant for evil against you, God turned it around for your good; keep this in mind and rest assured. Change Changing our response to pain is very important. Rather than relive the past, we can identify the fact that we are not the same person who was subjected to that abuse, we have moved on, we are not the child that was molested, we are now a grown up adult able to make our own decision, we are not the same. When the feelings, emotions and memory tries to trap and tie you to the past, repeat the 4 steps, Pain, Grace, Gain & Change. Then make a few minutes to pray prayers of affirmations & requests. Prayer: I pray for the healing power of God to flow through me, heal my heart and mind, heal my memory, heal me in every single area, where there was emotional wounds. Jesus came to heal the broken hearted and to bind up their wounds. I pray for the balm of Gilead and the healing anointing of Jesus Christ to flow into every deep path of my heart, mind, memory, spirit, soul and body, on the conscious and subconscious layers. I release total forgiveness to the people who hurt me. Jesus you died for all past, present and future sins, so I release and forgive all the past present and future sins of the people or person that hurt me. I will no longer be held captive or prisoner to past events. I pray and make this request through the name of Jesus Christ. Amen Affirmations: I am not my past, I refuse to live in the past, I am free from every pain of the past, I am released from every pain of the past, I forgive and release the offenders, I release myself from every hurt, wounds, and anger; I disengage with habitual negative memory recall, I will not live in the past, I have a great life now, I focus on my life as it is now and the future. Jesus experienced pain on every level imaginable. He had the sins and the penalty of the sin of the whole world placed on his shoulder, not only for the sins committed up to the point of his death and resurrections, but all past, present and future sins were carried by Him to the cross. If he only died for all sins up to the time of his death and resurrection, you and I will not have any hope of forgiveness, but because His sacrifice extend beyond the past present future and eternity, you and I and the people yet to be born, have hope of a savior, healer, forgiver, and a restorer. Key Points Pain = Acknowledge the Pain without reliving the experience Grace= Receive Grace and Release Grace Gain= You are a better Person, Wiser, Smarter, More sensitive, Discerning and much more Change= Choose your response to pain sensation. Change from victim to a victor Conclusion Pain has to be dealt with on several levels: Spiritual level, Psychological level, Emotional level, and Physiological level. This article is an introduction to subject of dealing with Pain, I plan to release other articles, journals, book and training manuals that will address this topic in more depth. How to handle a serial offender, bully or abuser Sometimes we find it difficult to forgive a repeat offender, because even though you forgive this person, they somehow keep repeating the actions knowingly or unknowingly that hurts you. So this is like a vicious cycle. In such instances it’s important to develop a ‘thick skin’ carefree, water off the duck back approach, and totally minimize the words or actions of the offender. Hence you gain the power back, by refusing to be a victim and begin to develop the mentality of a victor, who is smarter, wiser and more powerful than the bully. Another approach is direct communication, without shouting or emotional outbursts, you state clearly and objectively what the repeated abuser is doing that hurt you, how their action made you feel, and request that they change their action. Direct communication should only be attempted in cases where you do not feel physically threatened or in danger. If this approach fail to work, choose to forgive them personally, and make attempt to remove yourself from the abusive situation. Since every situation is completely different, one method may not work in all situations. However if you feel you are continuously been subject to abuse, you should seek personal professional counsel to deal with the situation.
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The best antidote to stress, worry, fear and anxiety is joy. When I say joy, I mean real joy that flows and bubbles from your heart. No matter how bad things may look or sound, there are still things you can be thankful for. No matter how difficult a problem or challenge may seek to weigh you down, you can respond and bounce back with a big smile; smile and laugh, and say to the problem 'you are not going to steal my joy. I choose to rejoice today and always'. How we see things matters. Whenever you encounter a problem, do you see: a huge mountain, a little problem, a small challenge or a huge problem. The way you see it will determine your reaction to the situation. Hence its important that we shift our focus, and shrink the problem to a very small size. No matter how small or huge a problem is, you are still bigger than the problem, and you can speak to the problem to be removed. Place your focus on the goodness of the God. God is bigger than all of your problem. He promised to may a way for you, even when there seems to be no way. Trust God completely. Have a Carefree Attitude On the practical side of things, after you have prayed and done all you know to do, just cast ALL of your cares to God, not just some of your cares, but ALL OF YOUR CARES. Cast everything over to God because He cares for you. Have a carefree attitude. Having a Good Laugh One good kick start to having a good laugh, is to watch a good clean comedy program, or play with friends and family, get active in sport to shift your focus from problem to getting fit. Then look at yourself in the mirror and smile, remember something that you did in the past that gave you so much fun and just laugh. Positive Affirmations Whenever anxious or problematic thoughts tries to show up, just say "I cast my cares over to God, He cares for me, I refuse to worry of be anxious, my situation is a million times better than what someone else is facing right now, I am grateful for my life, I am grateful I can speak, I am grateful I can walk, I am grateful I have a beautiful face to smile with, I am grateful for my children (if you have children), I am grateful for what I have, I am grateful Lord" Praise & Gratitude When we release praise and gratitude for what we do have and for what are going well in our lives, it shifts our focus from sorrow, sadness, regret, to a sense of anticipation, and of looking up to the big GOD who is greater and mightier than any challenges or problems. Reciting Scriptures Psalms 121 is one of my favorite scriptures, when you read and recite this scripture at least 3 times a day, your sense of hope and joy will begin to rise. When you know and are assured that God has your interest at heart and he is watching over you, this makes all the difference to how you feel. Psalm 121 New King James Version (NKJV) God the Help of Those Who Seek Him A Song of Ascents. 1 I will lift up my eyes to the hills-- From whence comes my help? 2 My help comes from the Lord, Who made heaven and earth. 3 He will not allow your foot to be moved; He who keeps you will not slumber. 4 Behold, He who keeps Israel Shall neither slumber nor sleep. 5 The Lord is your keeper; The Lord is your shade at your right hand. 6 The sun shall not strike you by day, Nor the moon by night. 7 The Lord shall preserve you from all evil; He shall preserve your soul. 8 The Lord shall preserve your going out and your coming in From this time forth, and even forevermore. Quiet Meditation Find a quiet place where you can meditate. Repeat the following quietly to yourself in quiet manner and in a relaxed state:
Take as much time as you need to meditate and quiet your soul before the presence of God. The more you practice this, the lighter the burden feels and the freer you personally will feel in your mind and emotions. You can take your time of meditation further, by doing what God told Abraham to do, begin to see the answers to your prayers manifested, connect your mind and emotions to the answered prayers and give thanks to God for it. Mark 11:24 Therefore I say unto you, What things soever ye desire, when ye pray, believe that ye receive them, and ye shall have them. Genesis 15:5 - 6 And he brought him forth abroad, and said, Look now toward heaven, and tell the stars, if thou be able to number them: and he said unto him, So shall thy seed be. 6 And he believed in the LORD; and he counted it to him for righteousness. Genesis 13:16 -17 And I will make thy seed as the dust of the earth: so that if a man can number the dust of the earth, then shall thy seed also be numbered. Arise, walk through the land in the length of it and in the breadth of it; for I will give it unto thee. Philippians 4:4 Rejoice in the Lord alway: and again I say, Rejoice. Ephesians 5:19 Speaking to yourselves in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord; Acts 17:28 For in him we live, and move, and have our being; as certain also of your own poets have said, For we are also his offspring. Hebrews 4:16 Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need. Ephesians 2 : 4 - 6 But God, who is rich in mercy, for his great love wherewith he loved us, Even when we were dead in sins, hath quickened us together with Christ, (by grace ye are saved;) And hath raised us up together, and made us sit together in heavenly places in Christ Jesus: The Assurance of God's Love - You are not an Accident, You are Special to God. By Esther Simeon.7/2/2013 Over the years and ages, God has made several attempts to communicate to us of His unfailing love for each and every one of us, in so many different ways. One of his primary vehicles of communication has been through the scriptures. Isaiah 43:1 But now thus saith the LORD that created thee, O Jacob, and he that formed thee, O Israel, Fear not: for I have redeemed thee, I have called thee by thy name; thou art mine. When we look at the story of God’s relationship with Abraham and his offspring, we see the demonstration of the unfailing love of a covenant making and a covenant keeping God. The scripture is God’s love letter to humanity, it is timeless, ageless, ever relevant to past present and future; it radiates with the love, life and the power of God. Our understanding of God is primarily based on what we’ve heard or read from the scriptures. Isaiah 43:1 is a love letter from God to us, hence it’s important to personalize it. Here is a prayer of declaration and affirmation, read it, declare it, believe it and experience it. (God said whatsoever you desire when you pray, believe that you receive it, and then you will have it). God created me, I am not an accident, I am perfectly and wonderfully made in the image and likeness of God. God formed me, before I was formed in my mother’s womb God knew me, I am special to God. If God said, fear not, then I have nothing to fear, because I have God the Father, He is watching over me, like a mother will watch over her baby, I am save and secured, I can rest and relax. I am redeemed by God, I not trying to get redeemed, I am already redeemed by God, I am redeemed by the blood of Jesus Christ. God calls me by name, God knows me personally, I am unique and special to God. I have a special place in the heart of God. God is mindful of me. God is thinking about me, I am loved and accepted. My relationship with God is like a love of a father to child relationship, He cares for me, He takes care of me, He provides for me, He protects, defends and watches over me always. He is a loving Father, He never sleeps when He’s watching over His children. (He that watches over Israel shall never slumbers or sleeps) What we say to ourselves is more important than what anyone else says, what we say is a narration of what we believe, and we tend to believe more in what we say and meditate upon. So when it comes to our relationship with a loving Father God; we should practice reading his love letters to us in an empowering and affirmative way. When you do this and it becomes a lifestyle, your sense of safety, assurance, protection, love will increase significantly. You will move from the outer court to the inner court. You will develop a sense of confidence that you can approach God and He will give you, His full 100% attention. You can trust God with the most intimate and personal issues and he will never betray your confidence. You can commune and talk to God in a personal and intimate way, e.g. a silent prayer, a gentle whisper, a simple request for help and guidance, a call for wisdom and much more. You can rely on and trust God, He is faithful; He never ever fails. He is a dependable and reliable Father. You have a place in the heart of God that can never be replaced by anything or anyone else. You are not an accident, you are special to God. Peace is one of the most priceless things a person can have. You can have a great family, children, a great wife, a great husband, a great career, money, cars, houses, and all the wealth the heart can ever desire, but if you lack peace, it will be impossible to enjoy anything you have.
There are many people who appear on the outward as if they have it all together, but inwardly they are experiencing various forms of fears and emotional turmoil, due to a lack of peace. God wants you to have peace, real peace, the peace of God that is beyond all natural human understanding. ( Beyond human ability to disturb and beyond Satanic ability to disturb it) Philippians 4:7 And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. It is the supernatural presence and harmony with the Prince of Peace in your life that can produces peace. Jesus Christ is the Prince of Peace. Isaiah 9:6 For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given: and the government shall be upon his shoulder: and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counsellor, The mighty God, The everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace. When you have real peace, you will experience the absence of fear, worry and anxiety. Laughter is of great benefit to the human soul. It eases tension and stress, it releases endorphins that give us a feel good factor, it produces healing chemicals in the body. Science have confirmed what the bible has said all along about laughter. A merry heart is like medicine. Be merry, be happy, be joyful, and be healed. Learn to laugh, don’t take life or anything too serious. When facing challenges or difficulty just laugh and say “this too shall pass, its only a matter of time”. Develop an habit of thanksgiving to God, always focus on what is going well in your life and begin to thank God for it. If you see what is not going as planned in your life begin to thank God and say “Lord I thank you that there is no mountain too high for you to level down, there is no valley too low for you to raise up, I know you will remove every mountain and obstacles standing in my way, I know you will raise me up from any valley of defeat, I am thankful that you are working this situation out for me, and it will turn out for my benefit”. Then express an Ahh ahh ahh laughter with a big smile on your face. It eases the tension, and gives you perspective that things are not as bad as they may seem, it could have been worse, if not for the mercies of God, and God grace is more than sufficient to see you through and deliver you from every problem. Whenever the enemy try to get you focused on the negative, just laugh out loud, and repeat the phrase or add your own. The Lord of the breaking through is working this out for me. Proverbs 17: 22 A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones |
Esther Simeon
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